Random

 Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

So long didn't write here..

Alhamdulillah end of Ramadan for this year 2025.

Tomorrow we are going to celebrate Aidilfitri.

Just finished prepping foods for tomorrow, planning to give to my neighbour.

Feel grateful, yet feel empty.

I just don't know how to say and where to share my feelings.

As a wife as well as a mother and a master students (halfway through), is it ok for me to feel that I'm taking all the burden myself? Or its just that I'm a good manager of the house?

Burden here includes:

1) doing most of the house chores myself. If I want to be help, I need to inform or else no one will voluntarily help, as simple as washing their own dishes.

2) deciding meals at all times

3) paying for foods for each meals at all time

4) cooking and prepping meals alone. Even if I leave the dishes hoping that someone may voluntarily help to do the dishes, that was just a dream. No one will touch until the next day.

5) Settling >60% of house/ family monthly commitments

6) buying groceries every months

7) prepping my daughter's school necessities every day (begs, books, uniforms, pocket money, homeworks, study, etc)

8) studying for my master (I need to go to many departments and need to prep myself everytime I'm in new department. 

9) completing my assignments, rite now I'm struggling with my thesis.

These are what I can recall. Maybe more than that.

I know sometimes I'm a bit fussy.

I know that I'm independent.

But I'm a human too. 

My husband now is struggling to find a stable job. I know its not easy for him too to support the family. But since our marriage I'm the main breadwinner, as I know and I understand my husband capability and I'm able to help him lessen the burden.

But somehow, I feel he may take it for granted (I hope not).

Even his clothes and necessities also from me.

He had mentioned to me before that when he is struggling to find more money and cut down  more on the expenses, I'm struggling to keep my money in the multiple bank accounts that I have.

Actually its not true. In fact, I'm also struggling to keep the money for the whole month. I'm barely able to save money for emergency and my own saving.

I hope I can keep to be sincere until the end.

I know one day, he will get a better and stable job. I always pray for that and I pray that he got His blessing and barakah.

Thank you for listening.

A doctor mother.

 Assalamualaikum.. praise be to Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful.

Alhamdulillah..

Aku kini seorang doktor perubatan yang sudah mendirikan rumah tangga selama 5 tahun dengan rezeki seorang anak (setakat ni la.. alhamdulillah) 

pengalaman bekerja: HO di HRPB aug 2015- aug 2017, MO di O&G HTAR sept 2017- dec 2019, MO di KK seksyen 7 dec 2019- jan 2020, MO di KD Subang jan 2020 - mei 2021 dan kembali ke KK seksyen 7 sehingga kini

InshaAllah akan melanjutkan pelajaran dalam Master of Family Medicine tahun ni (tunggu panggilan interview HLP. doakan ye)

well, as a doctor and a wife as well as a mother, its not an easy task.

the struggle is somehow difficult and challenging. 

daily routine on weekdays: 

wake up 6am - bath, pray Subuh, prepare food for husband and get ready to work.

7am - salam husband, and bring down my daughter by staircase (from 4th floor. my unit is near the staircase and the elevator is in the middle of the block so time consuming there) carried her together with my bag(s) and her bag sometime with a big pack of diaper to the car parked about 5 meters from the apartment. 

7.05am - send my daughter to the babysitter (at 5th floor. thank God got elevator). sometimes need to knock for almost 10 minutes for them to open the door. sabar je la...

7.10-7.15am - depart from babysitter's apartment to my workplace. When in KD, no much traffic and no probem in finding parking as there are already a parking lot for u (as only 3 doctors there) but when moving back to KK, need to depart before 7.15am for u to get parking slot easy. or else u need to go round or double park ( which even worst).

8am - 5pm : work continuesly with 1 hour break (1-2pm). depend on where u are incharge but most of the time u can go back at 5pm. 

5pm - go back home, fetch my daughter from babysitter.

5.40pm - reach home. rest for a while (not really resting as my daughter is so clingy to me. so i couldn't rest at all).

6pm - cook for dinner. i will choose the most easiest dish to prepare. most of the time will choose a healthy dish like grill fish/chicken/meat with stir fry vege (only put alive oil and garlic and bit of salt). the preparation and cleaning after cooking is the tedious part. i kind of hate it haha but need to do la kan sebab kalau tinggal bersepah dapur sampai esok pagi bangun pun same berpsepah jugak).

kalau time penat hari tu order grab/foodpanda je. x larat nk masak. seminggu tu ade la dalam 2-3 kali...or lebih ngeeee... duit kite jgk la mengalir huhu..tu pun jd penat nk pikir...

7pm - dinner and movie time sampai maghrib. kalau bakul baju kotor penuh, basuh baju time ni (zaman sekarang guna mesin basuh auto je).

7.40pm-8.15pm - bergilir dgn husband mandi and solat maghrib. klu rajin mengaji kejap (ape la nk jadi..tunggu rajin..ish3)

8.15pm - selalunye habiskan tgk movie sambung dari tgk mase dinner tu. kekadang sampai kul 10pm la baru habis hahaha. klu anak merengek nk tido ktorg sambung esoknye la.

9.30-10pm - mase ni slalu kemas dan bersihkan dapur (basuh pinggan, lap dapur, tapau makanan lebih). pastu kemas beg anak utk esoknye. kemas mainan anak yg berterabur. siapkan ape yg patut utk esoknye. kalau basuh baju, sidai baju sebelum tido.

10-11pm - solat isyak then tido. dulu anak suka bangun 3-4 kali and kadang2 lebih. bgn nk cari susu. skrg dh x susu badan ade jgk bgn sekali dua nk mengempeng hahaha

and the cycle continues....

weekend - most of the time will be at home with my daughter (husband work). once or twice a month akan duty NNJ clinic. 

so, it's doable. u just need a good family support especially from your husband. Tp klu husband jenis yg nmpk kite blh buat smua sendiri then biar je kita buat sendiri semua even duit utk keperluan harian dan anak2 kite jgk yg nk kena keluarkan mmg x patut la kan. Housework is not wife's ultimate job. it should be done together. and raising children is also a teamwork. so to all husband, please be more understanding and not to take for granted for what your wife has or with your wife's ability. 

"happy wife, happy life"

sampai sini saje bebelan. TQ

Update sebagai aku

Assalamualaikum...

dah lebih setahun blog ni terbiar

bukan takde cerita menarik...

tapi tangan yg x berkesempatan utk menaip dan xde device yg sesuai utk taip..line internet yang xkuat langsung pun salah satu punca jugak..

so.. now i am a fresh graduate from UKM..baru je graduate bulan 4 aritu.. 24 april 2015 pengumuman lulus peperiksaan ikhtisas tahun akhir tepat jam 10.35am di auditorium PPUKM..

11/5/2015 dilantik oleh SPA sebagai pegawai perubatan UD41..alhamdulillah..

last week pada 10 Ogos 2015 pergi kursus PTM di Hotel Tower Regency Ipoh sebagai pengesahan penjawat awam..

dan.. isnin ni bermulalah career ku sebagai doktor pelatih di Hospital Ipoh (HRPB)...

mixed feelings.. feelings of a beginner...

hanya mampu berserah kepadaNya untuk segala perkara yang terbaik yang telah Dia tentukan terhadap hidupku dan masa depanku..

tugasku adalah untuk berusaha menjadi insan yang lebih baik dari semasa ke semasa disamping berkhidmat untuk ummah tanpa mengabaikan segala laranganNya..

aku akui jalan yang aku pilih ni penuh cabaran..tapi ini adalah pilihanku..

dan aku yakin pilihan ini adalah pilihan yang terbaik yang Allah tentukan untukku..

Dia tidak akan menduga hambaNya dengan ujian dan cabaran yang mereka tidak mampu lalui..

Inshaallah..jika kita percaya, ikhlas dan yakin, Allah akan sentiasa membantu kita..

He is always there for us :)

selamat berjuang sahabat2 seperjuangan!!!

Fii sabilillah...

p/s: sentiasa perbaharui niat supaya ikhlas untuk berkhidmat demi ummah..inshaallah ;)

a hole in me...

today, 20th april, one of my housemate go back home for good..

she passed the pro-exam (act all my housemates passed..alhamdulillah)..

we spent 2 years in the same house..

even though a lot of things had happened, i love this friendship..

but, something bother me most right now..

i envy of my neighbour when she had the chance of spening the time together with her housemates, even with her friends before they go home.. however i have none of it..

after this, i dont know when will we meet again..

one by one leave me..without saying a formal gudbye..

besides Him, this is the place that i can share my feelings..

i dont know how to describe it in details..

only those who knows will understand it..

bye

...random...

tonight..

suddenly i wonder of something before sleep...

at the age of 23..

somehow, deep inside, i want to have 'somebody' to care and concern of me...

i am certain that my time is yet to come...

life is just continue like the other day...

we knew that our life has an end...

but when? we never know...

only Allah knows it...

and when think ahead...

when will be my time to be loved and cared by that somebody?

is there a chance?

nobody can answer...

only Allah knows..and He always knew and prepared the best for His servants...

keep praying...

and believing that...

that somebody is also doing the same as what you did right now...

O Allah, grant me my wish...

Amin...

throwback...part 1

dah lame rasenye tak meng 'hapdate' blog nih...

byk benda yg jd sepanjang tahun ni..klu tgk post2 yg lepas, last post sebelum kes pickpocket tu mase puasa..punye lah berkurun (walaupun br 4 bln, tp bg penggiat2 blog nih klu seminggu x update pun dah rase out dated..haha..al masalahnye aku nih penggiat blog tegar ke???*toink3..tonyoh pelipis sendiri)

so nk pendek citer, bek aku letak je la gambo2 yg rase boleh citer semua bende..bak kate omputih, pics speak better than words..haaa gitteww!

enjoy!

1) lepas puase ofkoz raye..gambar taun ni xbyk tgkp sbb cuti jap je..pastu umah busy plak buat openhouse..huhu

mlm raye..tiap tahun, jiran yg duk simpang depan rumah slalu buat pencemaran bunyi..haha main bunga api la..dia tu polis..so ape lg, tumpang la tangkap gambo..nk beli sendiri xmmpu

gambar2 kat bwh ni semua gambar raye pertame (time tu je sempat tgkp gambo huhu)..gamba2 syok sendiri je..ni la jadinye klu anak2 dara duk umah..ntahape2ntah lah..layan..huahuahua!

5 anak dara yg still single and availble (except baju biru to kot..ehe)

raye terakhir abg aku sorg ni bujang..lepas seminggu raye dia nikah..

di rumah nenek (embah)...5min je dr rumah..rutin raye pertame...

amboi..kemain haaa kasut bersusun..mcm pasar lambak dah..almaklumlaa rmi org pempuan..hehe

sedare mare bertandang ke rumah...

2) Solemnization (bajek omputih kan..haha) abg ku...lokasi: Muar, Johor..

hantaran.. 

nk p nikah..

rombongan nikah..

mas kahwin dan wang hantaran.. 1 dinar emas + rantai emas.. zmn skrg ni duit hantaran gune cek je kan..senang..

Add caption

multi-tasking..tgn kanan tgkp gambo, tgn kiri amik video..

adat org johor ade tol..ni kire tol yg last lah..

bagus pengapit nih..pandai dia tawar-menawar..

lokasi 2: kg. sg. samak, Perak

bergambar kenangan bersama pelamin hasil titik peluh sendiri...

stakat tu je utk part 1...sambung kat part 2 plak ye ;)))