A Story of My life

assalamualaikum..

alhamdulillah we meet again in this session..

let's take a break for 1/2 hour (too much??no laahhh...) to think and reflect back..

and now i wanna talk about my endless story..

just to share and maybe as a guide to be a better person in the future..

the story beginsss........

i was born on 2nd of January 1991, the first child of my parents who born in a hospital followed by my younger sister..i am the 8th from 10, lived in my grandma's house with my big family..

from my childhood, i never knew anything about the world..my family can be categorized as lower class group..but i am grateful to be in this state as i could learn on how to be  independent..

among my family members, i was given by Allah a speciality, which i have my only mind and thought that maybe can work better than the others..or orang kampung said bijak or pandai..

at the age of 4, i start to read Iqra'..

at the age of 6, i start to read Al-Quran and alhamdulillah at the age of 8 i had my first khatam Quran and 2nd time at 11 years old..

from kindergarten, i scored for the first place in the class and from the whole batch (don't worry, kampung school just have a small number of student :D) and i passed PTS ( a test for standard 3 which enable them to go straight to standard 5 w/o get into standard 4).

then, i just could score the top 4 in the class since i got quite a tough competition..

again, alhamdulillah i got 5A's in UPSR..

i applied most of the best secondary school with the help of my friends and teachers which includes bestari school, MRSM, SBP and sekolah agama negeri..

i just prayed for the best..

somehow, i afraid on how to choose if i got all the promotion at the same time..but, im sure for 1 thing..whichever letter come first to me, then i will go to that school..

and alhamdulillah i was being promoted to sekolah raja perempuan taayah, ipoh ( a sekolah agama negeri)..

i spent 5 years there..eventhough i had applied for SBP during my 3rd year, but i refused when i got the promotion letter..at first, i refused because the school that promoted me was just near to my current school..but actually, Allah had prepared for me a bright future if i stay.. 

i got 9A's in PMR and continue my study in life science (sains hayat)..

to be exact, i dont have a real ambitions at that moment..what i know is just learn and learn and learn..

alhamdulillah, Allah granted me 11A1B in SPM..

i wished to study overseas and my targeted country was New Zealand..

but again, Allah knows best..i did not qualified for JPA as i got B in History..and i failed to apply eventhough i tried so many times to study at Egypt or Indonesia..at last, what i got is just 2 choices, which is PASUM and KMPh...

it was a very difficult decision i guess..

i ever been dreaming for PASUM before but when i got the offer letter, i had a feeling to refuse..

but, im not sure in KMPh too..then i prayed to Allah for His Guidance..

i picked KMPh and my life went well there..

dont wanna tell much about my life there as it was not a good attitude to share huhu..

i got CGPA 4.00 for both semester..alhamdulillah..

then, i aimed for doing medicine in UKM..alhamdulillah, i was successfully received as UKM's member..

then my life begin...

medical school is something that is always unexpectable..

alhamdulillah, i almost finishing my 3rd year..

even though sometimes i feel down and dont wanna continue studying, but something had made me realized..

why should i quit when i had keep holding for long enough, and after i had gone through difficulties to reach this level..

i just need something to boost up my energy and my motivation..

and it will come from me myself..and also supported by people surroundings..

just hope for the best from Allah..

*study smart, work hard, pray hard

_________________________
I added cool smileys to this message... if you don't see them go to: http://s.exps.me

assertive skill

assalamualaikum...

kali ni specifically utk sesi muhasabah diri..klu x silap ade hadis yg berbunyi:

حاسبوا انفسكم قبل ان تحاسبوا

mskdunye: hisablah dirimu(muhasabah diri) sblm kamu dihisabkan.

assertiveness..dlm wikipedia ckp:-

a form of behavior characterized by a confident declaration or affirmation of a statement without need of proof; this affirms the person's rights or point of view without either aggressively threatening the rights of another (assuming a position of dominance) or submissively permitting another to ignore or deny one's rights or point of view

kire blh ckp ape saje yg kite buat yg menitik beratkan hak org lain dlm mase yg same hak diri sendiri tidak diabaikan..hmmm bkn senang nk buat esspecially dlm communication

cnth diri sendiri la..sy ni jenis yg talkative dan slalu la gak klu berckp ngan org msti ade je bnda yg kua dr mulut ni. nak sangkal idea, nk berebut ckp dulu pendapat, nk membetulkan opinion org lain n mcm2 lagi nak laa..

dan bile lame2 bnda ni mgkn akan mengancam perasaan org lain..*mcm ganas je kan ayt..haha*

assertiveness penting klu berlaku situasi mcm ni. dah blaja mase PPD tp still xdpt nk aplikasi sepenuhnya.  

terase mcm terjadi kat diri sendiri hari ni

tp kali ni sy jd 'org lain' tu

dlm discussion, rmi yg bg opinion. bile smpi turn sy, ade je org yg nk betulkan smpikan diri sendiri ni rase mcm fedap nk ckp n biakan je org lain tu ckp, walaupun rase yakin yg pendapat kite ni sgt berguna

sepatutnye tindakan sy ni salah tp bkn senang klu org yg talkative ni bertemu..

dan slalu klu situasi ni terjadi sy akan jd pasif..sbb org lain otomatik jd dominant

klu ikutkan background family, mmg sejak dr kecik pun mcm tu..rase xperlu kot citer kan..xsuke ungkit kisah lame yg perit bagai telan hempedu *penah telan hempedu aym yg dah msk je..xpait sgt pun haha*

 terus kesimpulan la ye..senang cite kita kena belajar gak mcm mane nk jd asertif..mmg ade org yg dilahirkan dgn sifat asertif yg semula jadi..tp sbg org biasa, ini merupakan salah satu tugas kita sbb hari2 kita becakap ngan org kan..sape xpenah ckp ngan org plg kurang sehari tu mmg tabik spring tujuh kali la hahaha

tu je utk mlm ni...selamat bersahur dan selamat berpuasa!:) 

Hari yang suram

hari ni terasa sangat suram..

matahari xnaik..mcm nak hujan..guruh ade testing2 suare..angin sepoi2 bahase..

suasana hari ni macam menggambarkan ape yang saya rase

terase spt ade sumthing yg xkena

tp xtau..nak cari punca mcm xde..tp seriously, rase mcm xselesa..awkward..

rase mcm semua org keliling ni mcm xheran..omputih ckp feels like being neglected

mungkin hny perasaan or mungkin kenyataan

kalaupun kenyataan, adakah akn diberi peluang utk sy tahu ape puncanya?and kenapa?

adakah ini juga balasan utk saya yang kdg2 xhiraukan a.k.a xlayan org langsung..أستغفر الله

dan bile sampai saat ni, terase memerlukan somebody utk bercerita..

tp xtau sape..dan saat ni jugak la terasa saya telah menolak sumthing yg b'nilai..sumthing yg dipanggil 'kwn baik'...ruginyeee....

disebabkan saya agk kasar dan sombong dgn org, terase diri ni x layak nak bercerita dgn org

cerita kat blog je la..sbb sy tau x ramai tau blog ni

 Ya Allah, berikanlah petunjuk kpd ku..sesungguhnya aku insan yang lemah dan hina..aku selalu lalai dan leka..selalu menyakiti perasaan sahabat2 ku..aku mungkin tidak layak utk dijadikan kwn..tetapi aku tidak boleh hidup tanpa adanya seseorang yang bernama kwn..aku tak boleh hidup juga kalau tidak ada orang yang menyokongku dan menyedarkanku..Ya Allah ampunilah dosa2ku..Kau bimbinglah aku supaya lebih dekat denganMu..

kepada sahabat2 sekalian...

saya ingin memohon maaf di atas segala tindakan saya yang keterlaluan...

saya sedar saya mempunyai sifat2 yang tak layak dianggap kwn..

tapi, hanya satu yang saya harapkan..semoga ukhwah kita akan kekal

sbb sampai bila2 pun..kalian merupakan sahabat2 saya yang terbaik dan saya akan kenang kalian dalam setiap diari hidup saya..saya sayang kalian semua...

itu shj rintihan yang ingin saya sampaikan..

.....والسلام

tak sampai hati...tapi kena kuatkan semangat!

salam semua!!

minggu ni klinikal asas posting internal medicine

so far posting ni best sbb jumpe byk jenis diseases and blh apply most yg kami blaja mase pre-klinikal dulu

hari ni (25/5/2011) byk benda yg berlaku

sy n kwn2 dtg awl sbb nak amik pluang blaja venepuncture and practice sesame sendiri

kami g wad med 2..mase dtg tu ade sorg patient cina br je meninggal..

mmg x dinafikan semua HO kat sini baik2...lbh2 lg kelahiran hospital tu sendiri(i mean hukm hehe)

after tgk HO buat n blaja sket2 perkare yg berkaitan dgn venepuncture,kami pun g amik brg2 n g bilik tutor utk practice sendiri

alhamdulillah ok..harap2 esok dpt peluang buat kat patient betul plak

then g breakfast..pastu ward round cari mangse! hehe(patient la)

kebetulan hari ni rmi plak discharge and rmi plak kena guna ventilator

pas abis round dua wad akhirnya dpt la sorg patient perempuan kat wad med 5 bed 14 diagnosed with TB

kami buat PE respi..alhamdulillah dpt apply ape yg dah blaja mase teaching smlm

brief positive finding :- 

- reduced chest wall expansion on the right side

- tactile fremitus and vocal resonance is increased on the right side

- dull on percussion on the right side

- crepitation is heard on the middle zone of the right lung
(kwn2 blh cube buat..klu finding lain bgtau ye)

then, kami g wad med 2 nak cari patient utk test PE cranial nerve

kebetulan ade procedure yg sdg berjalan iaitu CVP ( central venous pressure line)
ade dua org doktor, sorg laki sorg perempuan
kalau xsilap dua2 MO
diorg mintak kami tolong kawal patient tu drpd mengganggu p'jalanan procedure
patient was diagnosed to have SIADH with underlying meningioma
mula2 doktor laki yg buat..
target vein is IJV
doktor tu agk kasar n kurg tolerate ngan patient
byk kali dia cube puncture, semua xjd
patient dah t'ketar2 n mengerang kesakitan
doktor perempuan tu yang byk tenangkan patient
bile smpi satu thp doktor laki tu agk lemah smgt sbb xdpt vein
then diorg exchange
dgn mudah dan dgn ucapan kalimah bismillah yg sayup2 kedengaran dibibir doktor ditambah dgn sdikit kata2 lembut utk menenangkan patient
akhirnya vein berjaya di puncture dgn 2 cubaan shj
procedure slps puncture juga agk menyakitkan
kami yg berada di tepi katil sayu melihat patient perempuan tua itu menahan kesakitan dari awal hingga akhir  n ngeri bila tgk procedure yg invasive mcm tu, especially bile masukkan wayar, then tube utk dilatekan vein (kena basarkan ngan pisau before msuk tube), and lastly catheter (kena jahit plak kat tengkuk utk elak catheter move)
slps tamat procedure, kami b'kemas utk pulang
sbb penat n kesian kat patient -.-
pasni kena biasakan diri dan kuatkan smgt utk melalui saat2 mcm ni
sbb kemungkinan besar kami akn berada di tempat doktor2 tu satu hari nanti

byk perkara yg sy bljr dari situasi ni
harap sy dpt mengambil iktibar bagi setiap detik yg berlaku
semoga Allah mempermudahkan segala urusan doktor2 dan patient tu

a bit about CVP:-

A CVP line is a special intravenous (IV) line. The line may have 1, 2, or 3 parts
that can be connected to tubing or needle free adapters. CVP lines are frequently inserted in critically ill infants and children for hemodynamic monitoring, delivery of intravenous fluids and medications, blood
products, TPN, and fat emulsion.  They may also be used for drawing blood samples.
Hemodynamic monitoring of central venous pressure reflects intravascular volume status
and RV function. The doctor inserts the line into a large vein in the neck (IJV) or upper
chest (subclavian vein). Sometimes the doctor may need to place the line into a vein in
the groin or arm (at cubital fossa).
*for further information u can ask mr.google ;)